— the past

I hope she likes it

I take a deep breath, scanning the sketch over and over again to make sure it looks pretty enough for her. I don't usually make sketches of people, it's hard to convey those facial expressions on paper for me.

However, this time I tried to do it for Iris — we have known each other since childhood because our parents are good friends. I am her good friend too, but I wanna be something more.

“That's pretty cool huh”

Liam’s sudden voice makes me jolt. I roll the paper quickly and shove it into my bag, my heart dropping to my stomach. Heat rushes up my neck in embarrassment as he walks into my room, draping an arm over my shoulder.

“Didn’t know my little brother had grown up enough for these things” he teases, his grin way too smug for this early in the morning. I roll my eyes and brush his arm away “What? You are talking like I am doing drugs.”

He chuckles and steps back, leaning against the table with his arms crossed “Well these things are way more addictive and time consuming than drugs”

I raise my eyebrow “You are talking about girls or relationship?”

He chuckles and shakes his head “Crush” He replies “Infatuation and maybe love too” the word ‘love’ coming out more empathized.

It is definitely a crush, I like her too but love? I don't know. I am 15, do I need to fall in love before dating someone? Isn't that too much? I don't even know what this feeling is.

“Dad will be disappointed if he hears me comparing girls to drugs” Liam adds. Yeah, he definitely would be. He raised us in a way to never ever disrespect women. His expression softens, looking at the hidden paper “That’s for iris?” he asks.

I nod and sit on the edge of my bed, slipping my shoes on. No point hiding it — he already knows. He has told me a hundred times that he doesn’t like her but I never listen. It’s my life. For once, I want to make a decision without anyone else’s approval.

He sighs but doesn’t give one of his long lectures with impossibly heavy words like Shakespeare. Instead, he crouches down and starts tying my shoelaces.

“I can do it now…I ain't a kid anymore” I mumble, clenching the edges of my bed. I don't like shoes with laces, they are annoying, they open up. I can't tie them in a ‘boys' way like my friends say. But I don't like that dad and Liam know I can't wear these shoes, I mean I can, but not in a correct way?

He finishes it up and stands up “all the best” he says with a smile taking me by surprise “You aren't saying anything? Stopping me?” I ask, almost suspiciously.

He presses his lips together and shakes his head “i would but i know you wouldn't listen, so I am just wishing you luck”

“I dont even get why you dont like her!”

“Its not like that! I just feel like she isn't the one for you”

“How do you even know?”

“My gut?”

I roll my eyes at his words, which seem very illogical! What does it mean his guts says it? I stare at him “My gut says i wanna eat pizza everyday but i dont right?”

He laughs under his breath and shakes his head

“Look, my gut says I like her and that's why I wanna confess. I at least wanna try, okay?” I say, I don't think he gets me. Liam has always been the centre of attention, popular, smart, charming. I have seen girls drool over him, he has the prettiest girlfriend who confessed to him and not the other way around. I see other girls getting jealous when he is with her. He doesn't even need to try.

Meanwhile, I am not whatever he is. I can't play basketball well, I am trying to improve my grades but it's hard. Iris is the only girl who smiles when she sees me, enjoys my company and includes me.

“Lucas, i just wanna advice you-”

“Dont” I interrupt “I am getting late and I dont wanna spoil my mood” I grumble, grabbing my bag and stroaming out.

..

“Lucas this…You made a drawing of me”

I just nod at her question, my eyes lingering on her doll shoes that she always wore, they were gifted by my mom and she cherished them very much.

Oh I cant look at her. This is very embarrassing, I feel like my face is burning up. I hope she isn't noticing how bad I am sweating right now. My heart is pounding so hard that I can hear it.

My fingers fidgets with each other, the nervousness crawling inside me like worms. Stop it Lucas, I take a deep breath, looking up at her.

“You think I would be impressed by a drawing?” Her tone slices through me. She lets out a scoff, before looking away. My expressions flatters down but I try to compose them “I am yet not so good at these, it's not exactly a drawing, its called—”

“I don't care what it is okay?” She snaps, her usual soft voice taking a mean turn, I can see the anger building up inside her.

Oh no, I made her angry “I am sorry, Iris. I didn't mean to upset you-” before I can complete my sentence, she just drops the paper until it slips down at my feet,her shoe stepping on it “Does Liam know this? Please don't tell me you told him about this stupid crush”

Stupid crush?

“What…what does he have to do with it?” I ask in confusion.

She lets out another scoff, almost like my presence is too annoying for her  “Seriously? I don't freaking like you, Lucas. Okay? I don't understand why men think that a little friendship would mean ‘love’ or whatever!” She takes a deep breath, running her hand through her hair “Gosh what would Liam think? I like him, okay? And you ruined everything!”

My eyes widens at her words, my head snapping at her direction “W-what do you mean?” I mutter, too bewildered that maybe I am hearing wrong? She like Liam? My brother

This has hurt me more than her rejection.

“Yes I do! That's the reason I visit you and hope he sees me!” She throws her hands up

“Iris, he has a girlfriend and he is quite older than you”

She rolls her eyes and waves her hand dismissively “And? He might break up with her one day. Also i can wait for him”

I take a deep breath, I thought those words were enough for me to back off but I couldn't. I bend down to pick up the paper, dusting off the dirt covering more than half of it “I didn't know that” I say quietly

“You don't know anything, Lucas! I can't believe you came here confessing to me with this lame drawing. God! Why would you even? Now Liam won't even consider me” She cries out, pacing from right to left

I nod, the ache in my chest doesn't subside, I gulp the lump in my throat  “Liam might not know, I don't know what he might say but…” I trail off, holding the paper forward again. “Please consider my feelings? Maybe because I am his brother, kinda..a bit like him?”

She stops in her tracks and looks at me in disbelief. Then, she proceeds to laugh.

She laughs at me

“You? And him? Oh that's the biggest joke ever!” She says, wiping a hint of moisture at the corner of her eye. She suddenly stops and moves forward, snatching the paper out of my hand and crushing it in her hand.

“You could never be like him or anywhere near him. Brothers? I don't think so” She grunts out

My jaw clenches at her words. Her mockery and anger “Yeah I know. He is very good, I could never reach him. But I try to be better and reach everyone's expectations, but I have my skills and talents too that makes us different but he is still my brother. I asked because I like you, Iris. Because I felt safe and happy by your presence. But you don't seem like the person whom i fell for”

She takes a deep breath, tossing the crumbled ball like a trash “Oh please dont give me that bullshit. You ain't even his biological brother to be trying to look better than him. I was nice to you because I pitied you—”

For a second, everything inside me goes blank

My brain tries to process what she said but my body freezes. My chest tightens, the air feels too heavy to breathe.

“What… what did you say?” My voice cracks.

“I didn’t mean that” She shutters, taking a small step back. Her colour of her face drains “I just… I heard my dad say something once, about your family and—”

But I am not listening anymore.

My ears are ringing so loud it’s almost painful. My hands start to tremble, the paper ball still crumpled in my fist. The world around me tilts, my chest tightens like a snake coiling around it.

Not their brother

Not their son

Not their family

“Lucas, I didn’t mean it I swear!” Iris’s pleading voice cuts through me. She reaches out but I stumble back, my knees threatening to give out

“I didn’t know” she blurts, her eyes wide, scared. “I shouldn’t have said that, I thought you know! I just— I am so sorry”

I flinch when she reaches for me, the panic taking over completely. My body moves on its own, stepping back, gasping for air like I’m drowning.

What does it mean

How can it be like that?

“I am sorry” she apologises again but her voice is so low due to shame, fear and desperateness

And before I can even process anything else, before I can say anything, she turns and runs away.

The door slams shut behind her while I am left with the haunting words

— the present

I think that was the first time I had a panic attack?

That night, I locked myself in my room. Liam knew Iris had rejected me and assumed I was acting this way because of heartbreak but it wasn’t that. Not even close. Inside, I was breaking. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe Iris’s words without proof but I wasn’t sane enough to ignore them either.

So I searched. I dug through things I shouldn’t have. I started noticing the small differences I had ignored all my life the way I looked nothing like my family. The lighter eyes, the different hair, the features that never matched Liam’s or Mia’s in our childhood photos.

When I had once asked, Mom said I looked like my grandfather. I believed her. I didn’t ask for pictures because I knew she had a bad relationship with him. He had been against my parents' marriage. We never talked about our grandparents because it hurt her. So I let it go.

Until I found my adoption papers.

And the truth finally hit

Uncle Elias told me the real Lucas had died the same day he was born — premature with complications that made survival impossible. My parents adopted me a few days later. My biological mother didn't want me

I didn't know if I was a replacement or a way to cope with them.

But after that day I started seeing things differently, I was grateful for the life they gave me. Not once making me feel like an outsider. Though I felt like I wasn't enough, like a parasite growing among them because I didn't belong here .I don't think Liam knew about this at all, maybe mom and dad never wanted us to know or was waiting for the right time?

That right time might have been my 17th birthday but dad died in the same year. Mom never talked about my adoption, I assumed she didn't want me to know. I didn't want to be a burden to them. I was planning to leave for university until I lost my father. I never saw my family that devastated.

Liam was the only thread that was holding us. I wanted to support them but I was too weak to handle it.

I was suffering, wanting to finish myself, hating myself for not showing how much I loved and appreciated him. It was good that Liam found me and forced me into therapy.

I couldn't share this with anyone, not even Alice. Though I wanted Jasmine to know, but that fear lingered, what if she started seeing me differently too? What if her feelings changed? But I didnt wanna hide anything from her, I wanted her to know but not like this.

“Lucas?” Jasmine whispers softly

I can’t look at her. My chest tightens, the air suffocating me. The room feels smaller, darkness filling and ropes tightening around my lungs.

“Lucas!” Liam snaps suddenly, shaking my body that brings out a hollow cough out of me.

I finally look at them, all their eyes on me. My head seems to be spinning, their figures almost blurry.

“What? Cat got your tongue? Can't make up excuses?" Kavy's voice rings in my head like some alarm.

Everything is falling

Liam’s hand wraps around my arm, steadying me. I glance at him to see his hardened expressions “Shut up, I will not stand here hearing you blabber nonsense about my brother” he snaps, warning Kavya with a glare.

Kavya scoffs, shaking her head “Nonsenese? Then why isn't he saying something? Standing silently like a deer in headling? Beacuse it's true!”

“YOU-” Liam lunges but Stella grabs his arm and pulls him back, it takes her quite a struggle to stop him. I haven't seen him this angry in a while. I take a deep breath composing myself, the room has fallen silent but I can feel the weight of their silent question on my shoulder.

What's the point of hiding?

“It is true” I mutter. I wanted to say it out loud like i ain't ashamed but I am scared. My voice seems meek and vulnerable that makes kavya smirk and everyone looks at me in disbelief, I keep my eyes anywhere but at my family “I am adopted”

I hear a few people call out my name, followed by a few gasps and scoffs. A sharp pain shoots through my head making me grow internally. I could feel Stella's presence beside me while she was also trying to comfort Liam. Who seems to have seen his world collapse.

“See?” Kavya sneers, voice dripping venom. “He has been lying to all of us! Pretending! Even Jasmine didn’t know. I had investigated it. Liam’s the heir to their business, not him. He has been using Jasmine, trying to cling to her for backup. That's why he agreed to fake date. Men are gold diggers now too, apparently. Pathetic.”

Kavya’s words get cut off by a loud slap. My eyes snap up to see Jasmine standing in front of Kavya, her shoulders trembling while Kavya looks at her, her hand on her reddened cheek.

“I have never been so disgusted by anyone but you!” Jasmine cries out.

Kavya’s expression hardens as she lounges forward toward Jasmine, I step closer to invade but Jasmine pushes her back, giving her another slap that stuns everyone.

“Jasmine!” Kabir snaps moving forward but Stella comes in between him and Jasmine, shoving him back. Before Kabir could react again, Liam stands in front of Stella and Jasmine blocking his path “Hands to yourself”

Kabir’s jaw tightens, opening his mouth to say something but Veer pulls him and Kavya away.

“Dekho! Kuch din mai pure pariwarr ku alag kardiya!” Jasmine's uncle shouts, glaring at me. “isleiye khete hai, pariye log ghar thode hai” he mutters with a hint of disgust, shooting a look at me and Mira.

[Translation - See! How he separated the whole family in some days!

That's why I said that strangers break homes]

His taunting words makes me flinch, I clench my hands in front of me “I know I have made a mistake by hiding the truth, I am sorry—”

“It doesn’t change the fact you deceived us” Jasmine’s father interrupts coldly “You lied about your relationship and I admit, I am partly to blame. But this—” he gestures toward me, his expression tight with disappointment “this is too much. Lying about your identity? How can we trust you now? I can’t accept you for my daughter.”

His announcement made my eyes widen. Jasmine steps forward “Papa! What are you talking about? He was gonna tell me! Like you said this isn't a small matter, it's hard for him. He wanted to tell me long back, I just didn't hear it okay?”

Her father doesn't budge, the support he had earlier had vanished “Still I can't trust him nor should you. You barely know him, who knows what else he is hiding. And on top of everything, his unknown family” he trails off, a flash of disappointment at his face

“Family? We are his family” Liam says, his voice rough yet shaking “Since he was born we are his family. By blood or not that doesn't change anything between us”

Jasmine’s uncle lets out a scoff, shaking his head “Oh please this rubbish, you say this because you are the heir anyway. Who knows you are in this plan too? To trap jasmine and crawl into our company? I am being what all kavya said”

“Uncle! Chup kijiyega!” Jasmine snaps in a warning.

[Translation - Uncle! Shut up!]

“Batameezi bahut hori hai yahan” He barks “dekho kis awar aulad ke liye itni besharam ban rahi ho. Agar inlong ne chood diya na toh tum bhi sadak pe aajaogi iske saath” Her uncle snaps back, his face fuming with anger. Jasmine’s face turns into a scowl at his words, before she could reply back, her father cuts off in middle.

[Translation - You are being insolent!

Look for which kind of person you are being this shameless. If they leave him then you will also end up on roads]

“I want you all to leave my house immediately. There has already been so much damage” her father asks, gesturing to Liam, Stella and me. We glance at each other, Stella looks at Jasmine with nervousness. “Papa, please, we can just talk and clear everything out okay?”

He takes a deep breath shaking his head “Whatever will be discussed will be among family only. I don't think there is a need to even do that but still I want them out of this house” He says before turning and walking away.

Jasmine takes a look around the room, the tension thick as

iron, she gives me a glance, for a fraction of second I see her expression soften ‘dont leave, just wait’ I read her faint whisper before she follows her father into the hallway, followed by veer and their mother.

I am lost